There were held an annual event, Marching Festival in Takasaki on October 20, 2024.
We can see the marching parade in front of my apartment.
Total about 30 unit of marching group were shown.
Almost all groups were an elemental school.
The elemental school where my daughter goes also joined this event.
My daughter was not played for the marching parade, but her friends joined it. So, our family saw the parade of my daughter’s school.
Corrected:
An annual event, the Marching Festival, was held in Takasaki on October 20, 2024.
We could see the marching parade right in front of our apartment.
A total of about 30 marching groups paticipated.
Almost all groups were from elementary schools.
The elementary school my daughter attends also participated in the event.
Although my daughter didn’t take part in the parade, some of her friends did.
So, our family watched the parade of her school.
修正ポイント：
- “There were held an annual event” → “An annual event, the Marching Festival, was held”
- 「There were held」という構造は不自然なので、受動態「was held」を使いました。
- “We can see” → “We could see”
- 過去の出来事を表すため、「could」に変更しました。
- “Total about 30 unit of marching group” → “A total of about 30 marching groups”
- “unit of marching group” よりも、”marching groups” と複数形にする方が自然です。
- “Almost all groups were an elemental school” → “Almost all the groups were from elementary schools”
- “elemental” ではなく、”elementary” が正しい表現です。また「グループは学校だった」というより、「学校から来た」というニュアンスにしました。
- “The elemental school where my daughter goes” → “The elementary school my daughter attends”
- “attends”（通っている）の方が自然です。
- “was not played for the marching parade” → “didn’t take part in the parade”
- “was not played” は意味が通りにくいので、”didn’t take part”（参加しなかった）にしました。
最終的な意味：
「2024年10月20日に、高崎で毎年恒例のマーチングフェスティバルが開催されました。私たちのアパートの目の前でパレードを見ることができました。約30のマーチンググループが参加し、ほとんどが小学校のグループでした。私の娘の通う小学校もこのイベントに参加しましたが、娘自身はパレードには参加せず、友達が出ていたので、私たち家族は娘の学校のパレードを見ました。」
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